Thursday, 22 November 2012

Who am I?

It's a strange title I know. If I don't know who I am then how on earth are you supposed to! Of course I know my name, where I live, what my job is, even the fact that my son and I need feeding on a regular basis, but what I'm finding peculiar is the fallout from my daughter leaving to go to Uni.

I haven't blogged for a while as frankly I didn't know where to start. I can talk about the huge amount (for me) of knitting I've completed. There's nothing like a major life change to get those needles going. But what I couldn't do is get to the bottom of why and how I was feeling all lost, unfocused and peculiar? If I step away from myself and look back I can now see that it's not strange at all. Half of my children have left home, and whilst I have always had lots of interests and an active social life, they have been the pivot of my world for nearly 19 years! 

My migraine, my regular companion for the past 32 years increased in frequency, the boiler finally gave up and died adding to the general stress levels and everything just seemed so ridiculously hum drum. Now I'm slowly emerging from the fog I can see it's obvious, I've been depressed. It is something that occasionally comes over me, not in 'a hits me like a brick' kind of way, more in a slowly moving wave that creeps over me unnoticed. For those that truly suffer I don't claim to be on a par with you at all, but the few episodes I have had certainly give me a small insight into that world and it is a difficult place. I take my hat off to every single person that manages somehow to fight through depression and live a day to day life. Quite frankly you are heroic in the true sense. My fog is gradually lifting. The ability to make a decision is coming back and I've now managed to get some effective medication for my migraine, so slowly does it. I have knitted so much over the past two months that my shoulder doesn't know whether it's coming or going! There are many FOs. 

A brief recap of those FOs:

Oh my goodness, I honestly didn't realise I'd done that much! I've also got two Christmas gift cowls and a shawl on the needles too. No wonder my hand's sore. Apologies for the links rather than pictures, but I seem to have deleted all the photos from my phone - slaps forehead . 

I'm truly looking forward to getting back to blogging more regularly. I've missed you all.

Much love x


  1. I found your blog post through Ravelry this evening and I'm glad I did. I understand the feeling when your kids leave the nest - I've sent two off to college and gotten one back after graduation. It is a huge adjustment when they leave (and also one when they return after 5 years!). Looking forward to hearing more from you.


    1. Thank you Lisa that's kind of you. It's an amazing job parenting, but it certainly comes with lots of challenges! x

  2. I really love your Lanesplitter skirt, I don't see a whole lot of knitted skirts so it was particularly fun to see yours! I really sympathize with how you are feeling about the dramatic changes in your life. If I may give you some advice, take it as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and who you want to be. Most of all, if you continue feeling depressed, be sure to act on it and take measures to fight it. I made the mistake of waiting to seek help until everything started falling apart in my life. In fact, if I hadn't of reached out I wouldn't have discovered something key about myself, the knowledge of which will dramatically change my life for the better. Hang in there and keep knitting!

    1. Wow, what a kind, thoughtful and sensible reply, thank you Pumpkin. I'm trying to see things that way and take everything slowly.I know you're right. I really hope all is well with you and do get knitting a Lanesplitter it was great to knit, simple but just enough going on to keep your interest x